Der Zuschauer

A Journal of Essays and Reportage on Drama, History, and Literature

Archive for December 2009

Reportage from the Northeast Corrider

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A Retired Medical Officer from the Dutch East Indies ends up in Cambridge, 02140.

“I, who see a tragedy in every cow…”
D.H. Lawrence, Christs in the Tirol

“Maybe it all started when I found myself living without a broad in an apartment outside of Porter Square with a 65 year old MD and drinking Batavian Arrack for breakfast. Chocolate and orange peel were always in my bushwacked nostrils. Wives despised me, older daughters avoided me, and who knew what my younger wee daughter thought? I had had a heart-attack, surgery on a broken ankle; pious, self-regarding, smug, puritanical social-workers, who didn’t really know what the Salavation Army was exactly like, and who didn’t know who George Bernard Shaw was anyway, began to talk to me about walkers, crutches, shelters, and finally, canes, which are at least good defensive weapons. Other decent, thoughtful people, supporters of Cest moi to the last, came dangerously close to suggesting I get a real job. Charles Bukowski came back from beyond the grave with ants crawling upon his drunkard’s arms and said he could see me for counselling for a six-pack of Busch tall-boys an hour. I was offered a sales route as a shill for Seroquel which was a lot more money than teaching creative writing at Lesely University. I considered going for broke and specializing in 10-minute play competitions, but then realized there were a number of seasoned stallions ahead of me. I considered sperm donation, and tried waxing 30 something beaver dams, but none of these things really worked out. There were scrooge plays, translations from the German, or the Dutch, and then one day I realized I had shrunken down to a bed-post sized chipmunk , and being chased by a rabid house-cat, disapeared into the crotch of a tree.”

Written by herrdramaturg

December 18, 2009 at 10:28 am

Dramaturgy: Definitions

with 7 comments

It is with remorse that we have received your recent concerned correspondence regarding definitions of the above as well as speculation and debate. I have addressed the issue with our entire dramaturgical staff world wide. We admit to a Coleridgian waywardness and promise to get back on the ground. I have pushed for articles, letters, definitions etc. We invite your contributions. This ongoing work will appear on our Dramaturgy: Definitions page.

Sincerely,
Christian Dietrich Grabbe
Der Zuschauer

“…Coleridge wanted to write as an opinion-former, to create a philosophical intelligensia in a new way. His work was to be deliberately elitist: exclusive and intellectually demanding. He made no apology for this. He was not producing a set of Labourers’ pocket knifes for cutting bread and cheese, but a Case of Lancets for dissecting the anatomy of a national condition. His target was what he came to call the Heresy of expediency, of short-term aims, superficial thinking; it was also the intellectual partianship of…journalism itself.”

From Richard Holmes’ Coleridge, Darker Reflections: 1804-1834

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Aryan It Girl

with 2 comments

Written by herrdramaturg

December 10, 2009 at 11:11 am

Frauenrollen, Weiberrollen

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“Es ist kein Ort in der Welt, wo die vergangene Zeit so un mittelbar und mit so mancherlei Stimmen zu dem Beobachter sprach, als Rom. So hat sich auch dort unter mehreren Sitten zufalligerweise ein erhalten, die sich an allen anter Orten nach un nach fast gangzlich vorloren hat.

Die Alten liessen, wenigstens in den besten Aeiten der Kunst und die Sitten, kein Frau des Theater betreten. Ihre Stucke waren entweder so eingerichtet, das Frauen mehr und weniger enbehrlich warren; oder kie Weiberrollen wurden durch eine Akteur vorgestellt, welcher such besonders darauf geubt hatte. Derselbe Fall is noch in dem neureren Rom und dem ubrigen Kirchenstaat, ausser Bologna, welches unter andern Privilegien auch der Freiheit geniesst, Frauenzimmer auf seinen Theatern bewundern zu durfen.”

From Goethe’s Schriften zur Literatur.

Written by herrdramaturg

December 9, 2009 at 12:04 pm

The Slutcracker: A Burlesque

with 5 comments

As correspondent for the Northeast Corrider, I am writing to alert playgoers of The Slutcracker: A Sexy, Freaky, Holiday Zeitgeist Spectacular, to be presented at the Somerville Theatre in Davis Square. December 10-13, 8PM, December 17-20, 8PM, and Sunday matinees on December 13th and 20th, 2PM. Come one come all.

Respectfully,
Stanley Richardson for
Der Zuschauer

On Guam: Grabbe

with one comment

After watching Ekaterina Degot stomp about the editorial offices in her amply filled out two-piece bathing suit and parachute-jump boots, I took off all my clothes, climbed into a hammock, propped an Everyman Library Selected Essays of Leigh Hunt on my yogurt cannon and read myself into sleep and oblivion. I had been out earlier for a giant tortoise ride and so quickly went away to dreamland, which is to say Twat Land for me.

In all due sincerity,
Christian Dietrich Grabbe

PS. Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?

Written by herrdramaturg

December 9, 2009 at 9:41 am